The Fit One and Bigman have a blowout

It has not happened since the year Lance Armstrong last won the Tour de France in 2005. But it happened today in Fife. The former members of the elite cycling club- Team Turtle- returned for a re-union cycle. They have not cycled together since the monstrous Cape Wrath Epic. The Duracell and The Doc both back for a team tour to Stirling and the famous Corrieri's Cafe.

There may not have been much wrath, but it certainly was an epic day out with fairytale finishes with the tortoises beating the hares through stealth and guile, Fit One and Bigman blowouts, and the Duracell takes the King of the Mountain jersey following a surging Cavendish style sprint to the top of Col du Fishcross.

It all began peacefuly with much chattering as the guys caught on the events of the last 4 years or so and memories of the shared telephone box adopted as a shelter when a hurricane and monsoon blew through the North West of Scotland. That day's weather certainly 'dampened' spirits after a fine lunch in the fish restaurant at Kylesku.

Since that time The Doc has shed more than a shell. As the Duracell commented 3 stone shed is 3 stone shared............................ when it moves to the other half of team Turtle!

The first blowout came on the cycle track when The Fit was declared unfit to continue having sprung a leak in his tyre. With his domestique 'the Doc' present, normal service was restored and we were once again on our way. On exiting Alloa, The Fit One once again sprung a leak. His domestique was quickly on hand to repair the damage and we were once again on our way.

With much chatter about the fitness of the Fit One after a months intensive training and Bigman fresh from his Alpine Training retreat, Team Turtle frequently and publicly voiced respect, lulling their competition in the International Col du Carnock meet into a false sense of security. Maybe they knew how the day would end?

With no further punctures, a fine array of carbing up went on at Corrieri's cafe in Stirling ranging from toast for the Fit One to Bacon rolls and hot apple pie and ice cream for the Duracell.

It was then back to business, onto the bikes, and head back to Dunfermline. As the peleton led out through Stirling heading for Alloa, a stream of cyclists formd with the Fit One breaking wind in the front. The Duracell was tucked in behind with the carbs from the bacon roll producing twitches in his thighs. The energy builting to a cresendo and no where to go, at least not yet.

And then the Col du Fishcross appeared, a short 500 metres in front of the peleton. The Duracell built up the revs on the Dawes Galaxy and when he was confident he had hit the 'red' zone, he exploded with power going to warp 9 in 5.4 seconds and accelarated past The Fit One. Before he could respond, The Duracel crested the Col and smiled in satisfaction as the mighty Oak trees lining the cobbled boulevard into Alloa waved in appreciation.

On the cycle track, holding a healthy 28km per hour, Bigman got a puncture. After all the miles travelled and all the metres climbed in the Alps without so much of a puff, the run of punctures strikes again. The Doc, the domestique, was quickly into action and the soon the team were back on the road.

If this had been time trialling, the Team Turtle, would have beaten the puncture riddled 'hares' to the finishing line no problem. Steady as she goes was the winning strategy today for Team Turtle re-eunited.

In his post exercise weigh in, Bigman hit a new record at 13st 7lbs!

Earlier in the week, we asked could anything stop the Bigman improving his fitness levels?............... and the answer is yes! He is now back in full-time employment and his team mates are overjoyed, even going as far as to buy him Mars bars and dairy milk chocolate for his piece box on his daily commute across to Glasgow .......... by train