The Power of too .............. equals mour

It was billed as the race of the Autumn season and it had more thrills, yet no spills, than a Manchester football derby even without added time.

The Fit One and Junior too were wheeling out The Creepy Coupe Tandem Machine (borrowed from the Gruesome Twosome) Have they ever been seen at the same time in the same place???

It was dusk as the pair met up with Bigman on his mountain bike and they headed for a rendezvous with The Ironman just outside Dunfermline en route to race up the iconic ascent of the Col du Cleish.

Earlier in the day the Ironman had left a message to say that he was feeling under the weather with a serious bout of Ironman Flu and would give the outing a miss. Bigman, who had also been suffering from ordinary man flu and had had a 04:30 start yesterday and 05:00 start today was considering giving it a miss. Before listening to the voicemail message, he called The Ironman who was now up for the challenge. How could Bigman call off now?

Last week, Bigman had a battle of the bottle. Did he get on his bike or would sense prevail and crack open a bottle of Pouilly Fume. Sense prevailed and an outing lost. Tonight, with the support of a friend, common sense lost the day and the race was on. It is great how the power of two can spur you on to greatness.

Speaking of which the Gruesome Twosome in the Creepy Coupe were speeding ahead up through Townhill with the scent of victory in their nostrils. Well perhaps only Junior II, as The Fit One was clearing his tubes so frequently there is now a loch at the foot of Cleish.

The duo were in great form, and it is little wonder the charity is called Talking Tandems as the chatted for miles on end.

Despite operating at 60% power, The Ironman powered up and over the crest of Col du Cleish followed by The Bigman and an effortless push by the Gruesome Twosome saw the Creepy Coupe climb the crest. The lights of Kinross and Scotlandwell sparkled in the darkness on a still Perthshire evening. And then it was down the descent of the North Face with The Fit One in pilot position. Ordinarily he is a scary downhiller and Mrs junior II is expecting a little cyclist on Christmas day ( guess what the wee one is getting for Christmas if he pops out on time!)And this was no different. Have you ever seen one of those slow exposure photgraphs taken of car lights at night ..... a long streak of red light ......... this was the creepy coupy streaking down the North Face.

At the foot of the crags, the duo changed postions and Junior II moved to pilot position with The Fit One as the 'Jan Ulrich' engine on the back. Like a scene from Trawlermen, the Duo wound in the white lines, eyeing the horizon as it came closer to their grasp. The orange glow from the flaring at Mossmorran coloured the fluffy clouds brightly. Either that or the Wee Yin had got a bit excited when puting a log or two on the coal fire!

As they crested Cleish, Junior II called for maximum power and Ulrich responded and once again they were off like Dundee fans hearing there were only a few pies left at half time.

The final race point of the evening was close and The Fit One, like a rear gunner from 633 squadron, kept watch on the position of the competitors as they sped down from Cleish building momentum with every pedal stroke. Like a scene from The Descent of Shap on Lejog 2006 when The Duracell on the Dawes called for maximum warp, the creepy Coupe was calling for warp 10 'shouting the immortal words 'Scotty a cannae hold her, she's breakin up'.

The Fit One was calling the strokes from the back and when the Bigman, having tucked in the slipstream went for the win, the Duo stood up in unison and pushed for the line. They have practiced the manouevre well and Torvill and Dean would have been proud of the synchronised movement. The guys accelarated away and the Bigman was defeated and deflated for the first time in many weeks.

This was a brilliant fun evening and the banter was magnificent. A shower of rain reminded us the weather is on the turn however it did not dampen the spirits and there needs to be a revenge match. Will the Creepy Coupe Clobber Cleish next time or will the Ironman once more show his steel. You heard it first here!