Who would listen to the diet tips of the lardy highlander......

It's been a long day. Work ensured another early start and the plan was to meet the Bigman at the gym this evening for our weekly workout....

It all started well with 30 minutes hard graft on the cross trainer. There was a brief moment of excitement for the gym ladies as the Bigman altered his heart rate monitor strap - all around was the sound of the local gym girls fainting with the site of such a ripped torso....

We blethered happily while keeping the cross trainers moving at between 90 and 100 steps and at a good high level as well.

After that we glanced down to notice that somebody was on the bike. Not just any bike but the bike in the middle. So we went and did a few weights and sit up until the person had finished just to grab 2 bikes beside each other to continue the chat. But there was to be little chat on the bikes. This was to be the witches hat of Dumbledore proportions.

As we were starting the Bigman whispered over that it was the last time he'd be able to put his current age/decade into the machine due to an impending special day....

Anyway, ipods were plugged in and we were off. No messing. Straight up to 15 resistance on the machine and speed ramped up. My machine broke. I'm hoping that I'm getting all of my mechanical problems out of the way now and that my trusty steed will get me through the Cape Epic. So I switched machines and re-joined the pelaton.

Before I realised anything there was a break. Bigman was off. Faster than Bradley Wiggens he shot off into the virtual distance with great dollops of sweat pouring off his ageing furrow.The blood was being pumped around at a fair rate as his heart rate monitor had taken over my machine as well! He was pounding along -I couldn't keep and had to let him go for now.

I bided my time until it was my turn to break. crank resistance up to warp factor 20 and grind it out for a 5 minute hard interval. The speed dropped off from 70rpm to 55rpm. Bigman shouted. I removed my headphones to hear the bellowed encouragement to speed up for 1 minute. Obeying the Bigman I did that up to 60rpm , 70rpm, 80 rpm - in the immortal words of Scott(y) (Engineer from Star Trek not the Arctic explorer!) - she cannay take any more she going to blow....but I kept going, the speed started to drop back to 70rpm but another minute had passed. So I thought I'd do another and guess what I did.

I was chuffed, if feeling a little sick, at the effort. Dropped the resistance back to 15 brought the rpm back over 70 and brought my breathing back to something Doctors would recommend.

I was cruising and loving it - 10 minutes to go and then home time.

Well as I relaxed, I glanced to my left. Bigman was off again. He'd cranked the resistance up and was hammering along. Like Contador himself, if he's worn a green baggy tee shirt during the Tour De France, he was off again. 5 minutes later he was finished and we cooled down.

Bigman could do a triathlon no problem - if they changed the order he wouldn't need to go to the pool to swim cos in the gym some of the swooning ladies had slipped on their one piece cossy's and were impressively swimming along next to the spin bikes - it was a sight to behold....

So it was over, 2 hours closer to Cape Town and as we finished I looked at Bigman and using all of my previous experience said that 'we are equally matched in terms of fitness' - I caught the glint in his eye that tells me Saturday is going to be a fast ride out from Dunfermline to Stirling back to Loch Levens Larder and home. I fear he might want to test my theory.......

I got home and weighed myself - 10lb lost since New Year. 2 lb off being the lightest in the 18 years.....This calories in v calories out seems to be working but as a said at the top who would trust the diet tips of a lardy highlander!!